For many students, the end of the first marking period is quickly approaching. Others are starting to receive midterm feedback from teachers. Regardless, students have been in school for over two months and just as they have gotten to know their teachers, their teachers have gotten to know them and are equipped to give feedback on progress. As a tutoring company, it is one of our busiest times of the year. Many parents have allowed students to try and succeed on their own for the first months of school. Parents often look for outside help when written reports from the teacher show their child has areas where they can improve. Tutors provide so much more than being able to reteach, explain or enrich classroom content. Tutors help to motivate students, teach organizational and study skills as well as build self-esteem. I like to think of tutors as providing students a chance to “breathe” after treading water to keep up in the classroom. The students have a moment to feel someone is on their side and will move at the pace they need in order to succeed. So, as report cards come home and conferences are held, here are some conversation starters to have with your child.
Before any conversation, try to remember your own feelings as your parent(s) received your grades. Were you anxious or excited, proud or disappointed in yourself? Your child is experiencing their own emotions around their grades, and we have to be sensitive. He or she wants nothing more than to make you proud and remembering that can make the conversation a success.
- Focus on the positive first. Even if the highest grades are in gym class or art. Maybe you have a future sports star or artist standing in front of you. Don’t discount these “non academic” classes. Share how proud you are and ask your children what makes them so successful in the classes where they earned high grades. Then, you may be able to help your child understand how to be successful in other classes. For example, “You said you love art class because the teacher is great and you enjoy doing the projects. Even though math is more difficult and you don’t click with the teacher as easily, find one thing you love about your teacher in math. Maybe you can draw pictures to help with some of your math work and then you can think of it like art class!”
- Let your child lead the conversation by asking him or her: “What grades are you most proud of and why?” Maybe he earned a C in honors geometry and is really proud because it is the hardest subject for him, and he pulled his grade up from a D to a C by working with his teacher and making up missed assignments. Praise him for this and discuss a plan to continue doing well for the next quarter. At first, you may have seen it as the lowest grade on his report when in reality, he is really proud of that C.
- Next ask, “What grade(s) are you disappointed in and why?” Instead of hearing your disappointment, let your child express the class(es) they are disappointed in and explain why they had a hard time. This will give you insight to whether you need to communicate with the teacher or your child has a plan to improve, whether it is because of test/study/organizational skills or the content is too difficult.
- If your child expresses concern for a subject that is difficult, come up with a plan together. Sometimes students will have peers in the class they feel comfortable studying with and can set up a peer study group. Or students will make a plan to work with teachers during non-class hours to get extra help. Sometimes students express a desire to work with a tutor to help outside of school so they have “an expert” that can move at the pace they need, check over homework, and explain content in different ways that match their learning style. Remind your child to set reachable goals and write down steps that he or she can take to achieve them.
Celebrate your child and serve as their biggest support. They worked hard and are learning lessons about how to “win in the game of school”. Play on their team and together it will be a successful year!
Regards,
Lori Solovey
Owner, LS Tutors